So...

I haven't updated in a while.

I have a few drafts that never ended up being posted.

So much has gone on since the last post. I'm not going to go into great detail.

Currently my 'job' is stagnant and I'm experiencing great angst towards my future.

Where do I want to go from here?

I need a paying gig soon. Sick of relying on others and not being able to be as generous as I like to be.

I'm so lost though. I don't THINK I want to do graphic design anymore. It's not my niche. I can do it and I have my own style. But I don't particularly enjoy doing it as a career. Maybe I haven't experienced it professionally enough to say so. But I often feel inept when working on projects. Major resistance towards graphics. I'm not entirely sure why. Am I scared to succeed? Scared to prove myself right? I just don't understand the turmoil.

Isn't it silly that I can't understand myself. You think out of all people you would be able to pinpoint why you are doing the things you do. I wish it were that easy.

Wednesday I am starting a cleanse. Tomorrow I prepare with solely fruits and fruit juice. My diet has been poor and I feel like a slug. I also have a big dependency on caffeine that I would like to kick. I've gained about 5 pounds in the past 2 months and that makes me sick. But I haven't been walking 2-3 miles a day like I was for 4 months straight.
I have barely been exercising at all, to be honest. Yoga here and there. But for some reason it's not as easy for me to be strict on myself when I don't have a set routine.

What I would like to achieve out of this cleanse are a few things:

To lose the taste/craving that I have for junk food.

To gain confidence in myself and believe in myself.

To achieve a new, healthy way of food consumption. Eat to live, not live to eat.

Control, control, control.

To become the person I want to be. Eat clean and be healthy!!

I'm thinking about keeping a vlog so I will post those here.

I'm nervous but super excited and know that I can do it!!

10 whole days. The recipe is a combination of fresh squeezed lemon juice, grade B maple syrup, cayenne pepper and filtered water. and you can drink water freely. Also in the morning there is a sea salt water cleanse and at night there is a laxative tea. I'm not too excited about the shitting my brains out part. But i'll get over it...


So after 9 months I finally uploaded my senior show piece to the 'tube.
Check it out>>

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oDWgsrrTEKU&feature=youtu.be

It's kind of weird to watch now and I'm not entirely sure what was going on in my brain at the time.


I miss my mom and dad soo much <3


There are three steady sources that visit my blog. Feel free to comment, guys! I'd love to hear from you.


AwkAuck update:

Allen has move back to Canada.

Charlie comes back this weekend.

Patrick and I have started production on some products we are working on for our very own online store. We would also like to vend at different events.

Sandwich is a cuddlebug.

Follow us on facebook!

So now I'm off to bed. I wanted to be in bed by midnight but it's already one. Thanks for reading <3

rawr