Periods

are the worst. Whyyyyyyy
So bloatatious.

But more importantly I'm the worst human because I decided it was okay to mess around and gain feelings for a dude that has a gf.
What???? Da fuck
There is really no excuse.
Loneliness, excitement, attention, lust,emotions.
It's all just fucked up and selfish and disturbing.
Before anything happened I already knew how messed up and hurtful of a situation it would be.
Just being on the empathetic end of this all makes my heart hurt so I cannot even fathom the true hurt that this has caused.

Sometimes ego takes over.
Sometimes we do things that are inexplicable and irrational.
And who will really ever understand why?
Not I, not I.

The only thing I can do now is take responsibility for my actions and plunge deep into the blackened center of my heart and try to understand why I did this and how I can prevent this from ever happening again.

Here's your cake. You can have it, or you can eat it. Or you can cut it in half, turn the faucet on and watch both disappear down the garbage disposal.

And maybe I shouldn't be displaying this inner dialog on the ~internet~ but the RLD is the closest thing I have to a therapist.

I really hate the leaves on the side of this layout but I'll change it soon.

Now I head to volunteer at this art n music fest with my new friend(s).